Cruise Control
- Mike Fisher
- Jan 16, 2024
- 15 min read
“You Can’t Handle the Truth.”
- Colonel Nathan R. Jessep
Eddrick Tont “Tiger” Woods was born with a club in his hand. His father/son story is pretty well established, however I’m sure the narrative will have the lid blown off of it when at some point it’s made into a Netflix 10 episode show (Not the HBO show as it’s only two episodes and just talks about the scandal that I’m about to bring up). His rise is legendary and his support was unprecedented in modern golf, or even sports. I don’t know anyone my age who is even somewhat into golf and didn’t have a time in their life when they were creating a golfer and striving for excellence on one of his EA games. However, notably once details started to come out about his double life and the series of incidents that ended up defining the later half of his career. (For a more chronicled outline of his cheating, injuries and then some of the DUI details sprinkled in for good measure, check out this timeline). The peak of his downfall coincided with the rise and fall of various movements that were meant to call into question the actions of those who previously were left up to our imagination. 2017 in particular is when Woods was arrested for a DUI and the first charges became much more public about Harvey Weinstein for example. Since then expressions like being Me-Tooed or Canceled have been much more prevalent and a part of mainstream culture. So while Tiger Woods was not the instigation for any of these movements, he has a unique story that surrounds them. It was a decade before when he was chased from his house and crashed his car as then wife Elin Nordegren found out (or at least reacted) to his strategic and systematic method of cheating. So while this predates all these movements, and he was not the first to go through these motions (See Kobe Bryant and the main focus of this article to an extent), his blueprint gives reason to pay attention. At first, deny-deny-deny. Give yourself a chance to see just how much information everyone is able to figure out and how private you can keep the matter through burying evidence and getting people to sign NDA’s. If you’re too far gone - next step - have a press conference where you apologize and offer yourself to therapy. Clearly someone making these decisions is addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, fame or more commonly, a non-lethal amount of a combination of these vices. Then comes the hardest stage. Lay somewhat low, accept the losses sustained and wait until it blows over. If what you’ve done is horrible or worth being charged over, then you don’t get to choose this stage. You must go to court and give at least 2.5 more of these speeches (and if it’s still horrific, go to jail and well…. I’m not about to make a joke about what happens to people there). However, if you fall in the majority, and you will one day be forgiven, you need to just wait it out and plan a way to get back in everyone’s good graces. Both Kobe and Tiger led the way on this particular part of the blueprint as they were still able to be good at what they were the most famous for. Kobe more so, as he could keep playing and putting up numbers. In fact, his rededication to his craft allowed his team to reach higher than during his lull (well, his rededication and a crazy lopsided trade to get Pau Gasol), but Tiger wasn’t as fortunate. What he did could not be written off as a one time impulse as he had multiple phones and hired people to help him with his epic levels of infidelity. His penance was longer and a bit more nuanced. As far as I know, he never forced himself on any of these people so in theory, his social punishment shouldn’t have been as severe, however what we came to realize was that it wasn’t just the action - it was how far off the mean the action was. He was a good boy. He liked to golf, which is not seen as an aggro sport. He was relatively wealthy growing up (as most golfers essentially need to be). Race shouldn’t be a factor, but it pretty much always is, and he defines himself as mixed (again… can’t stress this enough.. Shouldn’t matter. But sadly it seems to if you look at the difference between how people are “covered” by most outlets. And I say most… not just the ones you think of as purposely offensive). And because the court of social opinion isn’t meant to be equitable or even predictable, it took years for him to overcome the negativity (although arguably, it was also because his body was breaking down - there is a strong theory that if he was healthy and had a run at a major during this time people would have forgotten), and make his return to the main stage. Some had not forgotten his past, but most seemed to be fine with time served. It was now socially acceptable to like watching him again.
While that’s a longer intro than I planned - I think it introduces the most interesting part of the essence of this article: Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. His fame is such that I don’t need a massive introduction. Regardless of the generation you grew up in, you likely watched a movie he made and knew it was important. Child of the 80’s? Then you were wearing aviators, flipping fake vodka bottles and watching people like Martin Scorsese and Paul Newman (who chose Cruise specifically for “The Color of Money”) pass him the metaphorical torch. If you were more of a 90’s kid, you likely wanted the truth or to be shown the money. Even if you were down in the early 00’s, you had Impossible Missions, cool cameos and him making a last pitch for an Oscar (seriously, go watch Collateral. If I’m making a top 5 - it’s on it. Want a better run down of his movies and which ones some of my friends enjoyed - here are two links to the podcast). However this is when the train derails, he drops his publicist, starts jumping on couches - and then most noticeably - becomes an avid speaker on Scientology. While this did start out relatively tame, once people started looking more into the manicured nature of this belief structure there were more questions. Answering questions it would seem, is not something Tom Cruise can do without initiating more tension. He became very outspoken about the use of depression medication, critical of those who had used some of the medication he deemed as toxic. After an initial resistance to negativity, even Tom Cruise, the generational superstar and the former object of obsession of Rosie O’Donnell, had to take a bit of a back seat. He became less likely to show up on chat shows, took on projects where he wasn’t always the extreme face and waited until people forgot about his connection with the controversial belief system.
This is likely why the Mission: Impossible series is so important to him as it was really these movies that helped him creep back into public discourse. They didn’t want him as a romantic lead after his marriage to Katie Holmes came to a close and stories of the forced silent birth mixed with the recognition that she didn’t want him to have a relationship with their daughter. However, the public seemed ok with him scaling large buildings, pinning himself to the sides of planes and even jumping out of them in real life. Perhaps because everyone loves practical effects and wants to see those who love the medium at work - or perhaps because if he died doing it, they wouldn’t be as bothered. Either way, each movie would also bring with it a new story of his involvement with Scientology, but each time the social impact and public outcry was muted. Perhaps because there are always those who stand up for him - or because it is now what we expect from him. I mean, in all reality. If you’ve been paying attention to his rise to fame, none of this should be a surprise.
In preparation for the movie draft, I rewatched a number of Tom Cruise movies. The following are my most poignant observations.
He might be a robot
He doesn't know how to drink alcohol (rumor has it he doesn’t anymore - if interested see Ian Karmel’s story in a pod linked below where he was at a party and kept hammering popsicles while everyone drank)
He is likely a dick in real life as he is awesome at playing them and isn’t a great actor (this is not proven)
His sex scenes are always bizarre
He doesn’t know how contact eye contact makes others feel (or doesn’t care)
These are not necessarily revolutionary but they had me thinking about his success, especially recently. There are some that suggest that his affinity for masks derives from his constant of wearing one. If he isn’t willing to ever show the most reckless side of himself, it’s either because he wants to live forever in people’s minds, or he doesn’t trust himself to be seen as normal. So instead of conforming to social norms, he wants to shape our opinion of him in relation to them.
I’m not a psychologist, and it’s dangerous to pretend to be, but it seems as though Cruise may have been one of the best in recent history to gaslight an entire group of people and be successful. Instead of admitting fault or weakness in his beliefs (even though he is apparently not pleased with the current direction of the “church”), he instead continues to play characters that are often initially rejected but then proven to be morally and ethically correct. He knows that similar to people thinking torture works despite studies questioning the accuracy of it’s practice, but because we’ve seen it work on television, if he keeps having people say how great and moral he is, we are all dump enough to think that there might be truth in there somewhere. He always represents the old school philosophy and rejects certain new technologies despite the fact that he uses forms of tech in every movie. He always has the supporting cast compliment his loyal nature and moral compass despite the notion that is always playing characters that go rogue (or Maverick). And while these are all characters he plays, considering his involvement and level of control in all of these elements, there is no chance this is by accident. If he controls the narrative then he also gets to control what is considered moral in the first place. So when he has a movie come out, we can focus on how he is risking his life to keep movies in theaters, not that he may or may hold auditions for future partners.
To be clear, I don’t know either Cruise or Woods and have no idea how true or valid any of these criticisms are. I have no control over their narrative or how they can or cannot control their coverage. However, what I am interested in is the concept of what gets someone canceled versus a quick time out in the penalty box. (Although let’s be honest - it’s the same thing). It is certainly connected to the old standards of gender, race and ethnicity - but I think there is also something to be said about power and expectation. We love things that are at the best in their field and are more willing to accept someone if we think they are truly outstanding at one specific thing. We are also more accepting of those who fit their mold. Tom was a superstar and still is. However, he was always a bit reckless and needed to be “fixed” (if you don’t agree, rewatch Jerry MaGuire as it’s essentially the plot). The actuality of the behavior or action seems to be less important. Hasan Minhaj told jokes in a first person narrative that were an exaggeration or a fabrication of his experience so he can’t host the Daily Show after Trevor Noah. Will Smith slapped someone in public so he can’t win Oscars anymore. Louis CK did some pretty shocking and atrocious sexual actions to several individuals and had to take a time out, but most recently won 2022’s Best Comedy Album at the Grammy’s. I guess when it comes to the court of social acceptance, the punishment doesn’t have to fit the crime - but rather the narrative.
Content consumed prior to writing this article:
Random Thoughts:
Cruise is just so unlikable and yet somehow likable
Debi Mazar seems a bit big to be in a roll that small (angry cab woman) but when you check her IMDB, it kind of looks like she doesn’t turn down the chance at a job.
Foxx knowing Spanish is a choice that is clearly meant to mean something
Jada Pickett Smith - also a small role. Cruise must have pull. Or a day of filming means a lot to actors.
Camera is way too tight to the white haired Cruise
Mark Ruffalo ... how do I always forget he is in this?
Cell phones would change this significantly
Tom cruise just said - yo homie - I’m not sure how to process that
I can’t buy Cruise as a jazz fan
The music and dialogue volume levels are no Bueno... maybe good for a theater but not for home viewing. Man - Cruise has apparently always been pushing people to see us at the movies.
No chance Max pulls off any of this. And oddly ... you aren’t cheering for him. If it was anyone but Cruise I would be fully on team Vincent.
The wolf part is either really clever or it’s a university film student type metaphor.
He runs in every movie ... but he is tiny so it looks like he is fast .. I doubt it
Take comfort in knowing you never had a choice.
Random Thoughts:
How is this the world we live in? The guy who wrote usual suspects (one of the greatest screenplays of the 90s) is now writing scripts for a series that seems hell bent on killing Tom Cruise. Is that the selling point? Screw the plot ... what crazy stunts are they trying?
Did they just James Bond this? Kill the eager hot girl who was school-girling Cruise and then trap him only so he could escape?
Why can all women in these movies kill with their legs?
17 minutes in and already two banger scenes
I knew flutists could not be trusted
I like how the flute guy is so much taller than Cruise - it’s the most realistic thing about the entire movie
3 assassins? How many fucking people are supposed to die today?
Is it weird to think that Simon Peg is the reason these movies work??
Random Thoughts:
This makes more sense as I had seen this first and had never seen Rogue Nation. I don’t love the idea that they are getting serial with their bad guys and plots, it’s a bad sign.
Reference to the third movie already. I blame Marvel.
Is the Odyssey the most referenced book that people haven’t fully read?
Does Hunt live in an empty gym?
She does kind of look like Max from the first one - at least there are believable traits of similarity
The bad guy is one of the few movie bad guys who actually looked more menacing without a crazy dude beard.
Gotta love that Baldwin is too big to just die, he has to save Hunt in the process.
Superman’s little wave on the way up was priceless
HAO instead of WHO - I guess organizations don’t like having their likeness mimicked
I like how all fights with Cruise and Superman - they aren’t on equal footing or they aren’t typically seen next to each other. The height difference is huge. If it wasn’t he wouldn’t have died off as he is too good of a bad guy.
Hope is not a strategy
Random Thoughts:
As if you need more of a reason to hate Tom cruise ... he starts off by being the worst kind of person. Rich kid trying to get his way of things and just sell a story. I don’t know much about the movie but I hear he does a lot.
It is an indefinitely cool premise
I guess Cruise is the guy to play crazy... and he is actually perfect
Cruise screaming as he got run over by a car is one of my new favorites
I hate that I like Cruise movies ... but the loveliness of Emily Blunt works to balance it all out.
How is Blunt more attractive when she is killing Cruise?
Would this movie exist if we didn’t have video games?
Gotta love a side plot where he tries to use a time loop to hit on her more effectively
Can’t help but have the fate/free will element in movies like this
Random Thoughts:
I am aware these movies serve as some measure of propaganda for the American Military complex, and it shows - but it’s also a bit of old man porn. The old guy still has it and can screw over the young kids' sentiment is all over this thing.
An actual movie where a guy tells you he is the savior for all movies - and then tries to back it up in a make believe story - yet somehow - it kind of works.
I have no words for Jennifer Connoly.
Knowing that the majority of these stunts are done authentically and not through editing raises the level. If we knew this was a green screen it wouldn’t mean the same. Knowing it’s not palpably raises the tension.
He really isn’t shy about casting himself as a messiah. I’m getting a bit worried about what he actually thinks his role is in a larger sense.
Random Thoughts:
First issue before it starts - don’t ever have part 1 in the title. No urgency
Walking into an MI movie, you already know there will be a mask reveal and/or a new thing introduced in the first scene. Something for sure isn’t true so you just need to sit back and wait for the reveal.
Live in the shadows. A bit on the nose for Cruise.
Well written movies have killed movies like this as we are looking to point out flaws in the plot. Thinking of 80’s and 90’s action movies, we didn’t care that it didn’t make sense. We just wanted a good ride.
Liking the action - but man this plot is shit.
I actually can really take Cruise as the disappointed Dad who is teaching someone to drive - but I see this is heading towards love interest. That, I can’t buy. Atwell is on the top of her game. Dang.
I wonder if he wasn’t a Scientologist if I would be so bothered by his saviourism complex
You know she is dead as soon as she hugs him. Savior can’t have significant others and this is his journey, not hers (although… I’d watch her movie)
He may have written this script himself. He is the savior - only his choices have impact - women are props for motivation (see fridging) and in the end, digital technology will end us all.
Random Thoughts:
Sorkin can’t and doesn’t write women well. You can tell right off the get go as she is talking to herself and practicing.
Cruise can’t play baseball and it’s super glaring. He doesn’t even swing correctly. Although, he is still looking to be the best on his team. It’s like they only hired crap athletes. Similar to hiring short actors for Cruise and Keifer movies/shows.
It’s been a while since Cruise was meant to play young and cocky. Not sure he can do that anymore, but old and cocky is in his wheelhouse.
Kevin Bacon is clearly a better athlete than Cruise.
Short fuse Cruise is certainly a trope.
Always interesting when a movie has to make something that is long and drawn out seem interesting and riveting. Research works when Sorkin writes a bangin speech.
This is likely the best courtroom movie in my lifetime.
Markensin is mis-cast. He is not “crazy” or a perfect Marine. He might be the only miscast though.
“Always” as a sign off - then he shoots himself in the face. Kinda hard not to laugh when you already know what’s going to happen.
I would have to rewatch Cocktail, but this might be his best drunk performance.
So… he’s just going to drive off after being hammered and it’s alright.
She is the normal drum all movie and then at the end she turns into the shrew by setting doubt. Horrible character arc.
The doors opening for Jack is big time. Who else could play this? It’s why it’s his movie and not Cruise’s (controversial call)
When this is over, there is no way Jessep doesn’t get loose and guts Kaffee.
Is there a blanket soundtrack that is specifically set for those emotional moments that immediately make me want to cry?
Cruise does seem like a prick.
I don’t get how people think Cruise wins - Jack is kinda right and awesome.
Clearly this was written by someone who isn’t a Marine but might have wanted to be one.
Random Thoughts:
Almost 6 million people in the world - that makes me feel old. Then he says that the US dictates what everyone thinks. I don’t think I flinched when I first heard that.
Already pulling the angle of “old school” is better and tech/new stuff leads you astray. So it’s not just the new Cruise career ark. It’s always been there.
Jay Mohr could have had such a different career.
The midlife crisis explanation is quite good. You can tell Cameron Crowe was or had gone through one.
I don’t think Cruise is a fan of the player empowerment movement.
Copy room to print his manifesto - again - could not feel more old than I do right now.
Drumstick is the meal in first class - super odd for plane food.
Stoltz does a super small role. Is that good for the movie or bad for the actor?
Is this what Cruise also thinks a relationship looks like?
Early fist bump. Interesting.
I wonder what the modern version of the agents going after clients looks like today?
Boy, it really hammers home the yearning for women to have a family and fix a broken guy. You can really tell the gender of the person who wrote the script.
The Free Fallin bit is one of the first signs I remember that showed that Cruise might be falling apart himself.
If you already signed - why would you even let him in the room?
The kid might still be the best part of the movie - except for the “I’m trying to raise a man”.
He’s drinking beers when I think in a modern context it would all be liquor.
The chemistry between Cruise and Zellwegger is better than I remember - but the dialogue is actually a bit more cringy. I feel like she could have chemistry with anyone in this movie.
What was his end goal when he was standing on her front porch taking her clothes off? I mean.. I get it but that’s a bit odd to be standing out in front of her house when this is going down.
Sister is smoking a joint. How did I miss that before? Bonnie Hunt’s smile kinda also makes the scene work.
The walk and talk scene with Tidwell and Cruise might be the best chemistry in the movie.
They are so quick to jump to love.
I didn’t shoplift the pootie. Cruise can’t pull that off.
Worse marriage proposal ever?
We could lose the next 10 years being polite. Every once in a while Crowe freaking rocks it.
I think this might be his best performance. Once he stops being crazy. I also think I get him a bit more. Except the sunglasses in doors when you’re not hungover.
Aikman, Deon & Emmitt - how did I not remember they were in this.
They say Christmas edition - but the crazy girls are all at their place… on Xmas?
Yes! Cruise is running!
Man, the doctors look clueless. So… they clap and he wakes up after the guy says.. It could be his neck or it could be his back… hmm.
Then he celebrates but doesn’t go over to one teammate… that’s odd.
The math doesn’t work out with the flights - but the Rewatchables covered that.
Other Media Consumed:
Rewatchales: The Firm, Top gun 1 & 2, Jerry Maguire, Color of Money, MI1, MI - Fallout, Rain Man, Cocktail, Collateral, Edge of Tomorrow, A Few Good Men, A Few Good (Re)Men Live.
All Fantasy Everything: 90’s Action Movies Draft, Tom Cruise Draft (after we had recorded), Action Stars Draft
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