The Ball is Tipped
- Mike Fisher
- Mar 18, 2024
- 15 min read
Updated: Mar 18, 2024
“I've become what I despise. I cheated my profession, cheated myself, I cheated basketball.”
- Pete Bell
Anyone who knows me, which has to be a bulk of the audience for both this and my podcasts, knows what March Madness means to me. I have forced each student I have ever taught to fill out a bracket despite them not knowing anything about the tourney or most of the names of the teams. I spent way too long writing write-up for friends' brackets and rounds. And of course, when I can, I have been known to pull all-nighters to watch games as since I’ve moved abroad, they tend to happen while most people around me are sleeping. When I was back in Canada, I never missed a chance to watch each game, often on multiple TVs, to put up brackets around the house, including some that took over the entirety of a massive wall. However, just like in everything else as you age, this love affair has gone through a variety of stages and levels of importance.
In High School this was based on a tradition that started because I often couldn’t attend any large scale trips over March Break and so I started going over to a friend's place to learn about/fall in love with the tourney. We would have two TV’s, tickets and brackets on the wall and spend the first four days of the tourney in our assigned seats cheering on our brackets. We would even play actual ball in between sessions in which the winning team would get their check to get them food and drink until the next time we played. This remained the same in my first few years of University as I went home specifically for this. However the tradition ended for me when I stopped being able to prioritize going home. So I took parts of this tradition and spread it to others. I famously even grew out my mustache to throw off Adam Morrison, despite watching from Kingston, Ontario and not being near him. I hate to say it though - as this goes against my correlation is not a causation argument - but it did in fact work. Calgary was more of the same however, I’m not sure I ever won anyone over there completely. They put up with me, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t already fill out a bracket magically started due to my insistence.
The major paradigm shift came when I moved overseas. Here, it’s easier not to follow the sport at all as it’s not in the easiest of time zones and most people don’t even know the names of the Universities unless they are from North America. However, there were enough of us, so I started a small pool for those who wanted to keep track of friends' picks. This has evolved as I continue to move around and now I have just under 90 brackets total. The people who submit live anywhere from South Korea to western North America - but the most impressive stat is the sheer volume of my friends' kids who are involved. At first, this starts with the parent filling it out for them, and for some, this is as far as it gets. However, now that a lot of my friends' kids are starting to become aware of what is going on, I now get really appreciated pictures of their kids filling out their brackets with pencils on the kitchen table. I love seeing this as it makes me feel as though I’ve passed on my passion for this tourney, even if it’s superficial.
I fully appreciate anyone who wants to make a sports movie as I enjoy consuming them. I tried my best to find as many movies depicting NCAA Basketball as I could, but I ran into several issues. One of these (Love & Basketball) is as much about High School or even pro ball but I had to widen my scope as there isn’t as much about college ball as you might think. I’m betting it’s because these Universities are not meant to be making this level of money so maybe they are trying to keep it out of public view? Or maybe it’s just because they don’t feel the stories would translate as well? I think a large issue is how corrupt many of the schools clearly are - and how it’s not in their vested interest in engaging the public in more discourse about how much money they are making versus what is given to the athletes themselves. Which is a conversation I love having, but inevitably you have to put up with those in power defending their position in hilarious ways. There have been pieces really examining this, so I’ll just skim through as I want to make another point if possible.
What I noticed by watching these movies was:
1 - How easily I follow exactly where the director wants me to. I know right away who I’m supposed to cheer for and who I hate. I also recognize the one or two people they have earmarked to try and make another point altogether. The tropes are clear and I am apparently programmed.
2 - I agree with people like Bill Simmons who have said several times that there should be a sports consultant for movies. I don’t get how we live in such a visual age, yet the in-game action is so bad.
3 - Similar but different as the previous point includes getting actors who can’t play - BUT - a bigger distinction - you have writers who often didn’t play. They may have wanted to - but either they or the people who had to confirm the script don’t often get the nuances of the sport. One of the most impressive parts of a movie like He Got Game is that Spike Lee went the other way and got a ball player to try and act as opposed to the other way around. This turned out to be much better - but it also had Denzel in it, so I’m not sure that works for every movie as he can’t save them all.
These points are multiplied when you look at NCAA BBall as not only do they not necessarily get the game, but they either don’t fully understand the situation or they aren’t allowed to say everything given the power of the NCAA in general. So instead, you get very glossed over aspects that allude to larger issues OR you get a regression to kids movies. Not that I’m complaining, as I watched the Air Up There so many times as a kid - but now that I have a better understanding of NCAA and have lived in east Africa for eight years - let’s just say they missed a great deal of nuance and detail.
Ultimately it’s interesting to me how hard it is to find great basketball movies when the sport itself is so prolific. Each year I can watch hours on end of the game, yet I find the movies depicting the sport much harder to get through without cynicism. The movies are written by people who didn’t play - and are acted by people who also don’t appear to always know where they are meant to be while on the court. I think that’s why the best basketball movies are coach focused. This is a more traveled perspective and creates the idea that the coach can and should have ultimate control over the action. Perhaps this used to be the case, but I’m not sure. I’ve been coaching for over a decade and I never felt like I was the most important element. In the musical that is a basketball team - I am the bassist. I set the tempo and keep the consistency - but I don’t have any solos, nor should I be the focus. However, when I watch the movies, I don’t know if that comes through clearly. Nor do I think it would necessarily sell. But I do think it’s a more accurate representation of the game itself. However, if I would keep going down the basketball movie rolodex, I would find 8 foot rims (so small actors could dunk), fast cuts to avoid noticing the general lack of athletic ability and most frustratingly, the same generic speeches and game script. No basketball movie I’ve seen has ever lived up to the real life event - which is shocking. March Madness comes through on a yearly basis for its drama, narratives and execution. I have no idea why this hasn’t translated into a solid movie or really even provided too many “goosebump” movie moments. Jimmy Chitwood hitting his jumper was great. But what’s next? Teen Wolf or Air Bud dunking? Sigorny Weaver hitting an over the shoulder shot on her first take in one of the Aliens sequels? In other sports, these moments seem easier to replicate. Even Moneyball, a movie primarily about the business of sport, had Scott Hattleberg twisting on an inside pitch to extend the winning streak.
I’m not sure why someone hasn’t properly put the best parts of Madness on the big screen. But next time a BBall movie comes out, I hope it’s not all coaches yelling montages or underprivileged kids struggling to decide if they go pro and help out their family or not. I hope they get the best parts of the game instead. Maybe they could start with Bryce Drew’s “Victory”?
Want more content?
Click here for a podcast about Madness with Kelley McKenna
or click here for a video of my Top 5 Narratives heading into the tourneys
Random Thoughts:
Crazy that the one that is actually based on a true story might seem the least accessible
Seems like a hallmark quality movie... but casting would say otherwise
The voiceover at the start is such a shit gimmick - saving time and effort here
No coaching experience and yet starts the women’s program. Interesting to see how much is different since this era
Carla has her strut on right off the get go
Both way basketball - 30 second shot clock
They are really hitting the gender bit over the head early. Very blunt right off the go.
Radio basketball... wow
So you already know the “act of God to save the school” will be this team.
Pimp heels for the 70s
Lipstick bullying is a way in? Odd move
It’s the score ... the score makes it feel like a cheap movie
Least sweatiest jogger in movie history
You can tell Carla doesn’t know much about ball - but she’s trying
First thing you’ll learn is how to defend.. as if they haven’t been coached before ... but I guess maybe they haven’t
They went from basic defensive slides to press break pretty fast
The nun was creepily waiting outside the gym just waiting for someone to ask about a drive
Carla needs a lesson on high fiving
The amount of focus on losing and still getting in - or looking good - is a bit harsh for a women’s sports story
Movie actually does the rate but realistic thing of playing good d but the other team does score sometimes
Foul at the buzzer... that would have to be a crazy call now
Converse all stars ... fantastic
Sometimes angels wear high heels
First national championship- and the announcer who looks like a porn star - says it’s a record breaking final.... but there aren't any records yet..
I love how they go to the refs husband when there is a questionable call
One of the better help D scenes in a ball movie (double help on the week side)
Last possession - the visiting team doesn’t press.... in the pregame coach said it would be a cold day in hell if they stopped pressing
Kind of a lame coaching celebration .. How tall is Carla? (5’5)
Random Thoughts:
I have no idea why but I’ve been avoiding this movie. Then I see it’s a Disney movie about race relations and I remember why
Everything is alright ... always used for an era song to show that it was hard but fun ... not sure Dr. King (who they show) would agree
The plays like a girl comment plays into him being a “family guys” since he coaches girls - then they drop him because they are weak
If that’s what it takes to coach div 1 basketball - but bones isn’t keen
Shit floors... I feel that
Kansas, Duke, Kentucky ... these weren’t the big teams then. Texas western. No UCLA?
Disney movie that drops the N word ... you can tell this wasn’t made recently
So much set up (which makes sense) but now that the recruits are in, I figure we have another 45 min at least of the team coming together, the guys wife being mad, the coach almost getting fired and then either the injury or crazy event- then they will come together
I hate movies that just perpetuate that all coaches have to be assholes
This is my game and your game crap - it could have been more specific - press with the guards up front, coaches D, more open offense...
The coach's journey is interesting too... maybe he’s an ass because he hasn’t won anything yet ... this happens too
Bones doesn’t have a great accent .. but she is trying
John Voight is harder to take as a racist when it sounds like he might actually be one in real life.
The whole team thing is hard to struggle with when I know how this ends
Is the season slipping away? They have one loss and will make the tourney.
Pretty accurate that the racist white guy only comes around when he starts making money off it
They way they did the finals thing was a bit lame .. and actually a bit of a pressure cooker for the black players
The confederate flags in the crowd is a bit of a tough hang
I wonder what the actual reaction to this was
I also wonder how much Kentucky’s coach’s family likes the portrayal?
Where’s the D?
Great role for fresh prince daughter
Random Thoughts:
It’s been a while and I’m not optimistic
This did have an impact on me and when I first went to Africa I legit thought I’d get to climb a mountain and join a tribe
Kevin Bacon with his Pat Riley haircut and a loose suit is super awkward and so 90s
They also do the announcement of the recruit ... must be a ton of examples of this in real life as it keeps coming up
The super cocky recruit that we are supposed to hate is a bit tired ... at least blue chips didn’t have him illegally asking for a car right away
Can’t buy Bacon as a ball player
9-3 and the guy looks like he is dying ...
You know he is going to blow his knee
Reebok pumps on both ... marketing plan? Or just posing to try and be cool
Bacon dunking is a stretch
No program would want to pay illegally for a guy that gets taken that easily by an assistant
He is accused of being selfish and then tunes out after the part of the speech that doesn’t apply to him
Northern frontier district ... not sure where that is
The buses are pretty close ... but he wouldn’t be in them. He would have a car pick him up... it’s not that pricey
Also chickens don’t tend to be on Kenyan buses - more Tanzanian
Town looks close ... this is a big town though
The waiting until they are ready to help you is also about right
The fat guy trying to get you to go with him is very Kenyan
2 mill KES is a bet
Buses not stopping or a car not driving you is not an issue... people are actually super helpful. You also can’t walk in national parks/reserves
Randomly live like kill scene... poor warthog was still twitching
The nun being a bit of a prude might be normal but honestly most aid workers are pretty open to a party lifestyle
The tribal violence is sadly about right
But the guy they get off the bike would be all kinds of dead
Good allegory of white guy trying to come and save a place that he ends up fucking up
How does the chief have a gun out of nowhere and where was that during the wedding
Might be the best random task to fill time in a sports movie
The refs would be all kinds of paid off
Is this even really a sports movie?
Kevin bacon bites on every ball fake
Sexual assault for jokes ... that’s a lot of ass grabbing .... but does set up a great ball reaction from the fat guy
The big man needs to play some D - same with Dolan ... where is his D?
Love the random pressure D that goes off the guys foot ... great scene
The brother coming out took long enough
Two minutes is a lifetime - Foxy
Horrible play call at the end
Way too skinny as a PF in the NCAA
Gordon Bombay air high five to finish
Random Thoughts:
Love and basketball - tore his acl and the career is over ... not anymore ... of course he was crap... and a kick back to players coming out early and busting
How is this the most popular basketball movie for my generation?
I legitimately thought of athletes differently after watching this. I was at an age where the idea of playing strip basketball in a dorm room didn’t cross my mind… until this movie
Sanaa McCoy has had an ok career, but after this I would have bought all her stock. I thought she was going to rule the film world for at least a few years
This needed Omar’s character to be 15% less of a dick
Random Thoughts:
Nolte is so young, which is jarring considering he is only a few years away from looking WAY older.
I wonder how long it took to choose Western University - and what school it’s supposed to represent. UCLA?
Today, there is no chance that a coach can do these types of things as someone gets it on film and then they get fired - but of course then they are rehired by someone else. What’s funny is that I’m fully aware that the movie is going to come around and have him be the hero in the end. In the 90’s we were supposed to be horrified by the worst in someone, only to almost immediately empathize with them and then clearly like them.
Al Bundy is out and looking young
Is Pitino doing an accent or just elaborating? He also looks sociopathic
You can tell it’s a coach's movie as they show him in the shower instead of the athlete
Ed playing Ed and asking the hard questions
Nolte would be fired for the press meeting alone
That woman is so 80s... odd it’s the 90s?
He knows they try hard but he’s still a dick
Brings his tapes over to his ex wife’s house - odd flex
Interesting that so many coaches would be cameoing in a movie that is supposed to be showing the corruption of college ball
Love the “everything is going bad” electric guitar
Super interesting time in NCAA - more recruiting and less prestige schools
The whole - charging money just to talk is an odd one
This is the whitest sound track for a Bball movie ever
I like that they leave it ambiguous as to if he brings the mom or not
Birds cameo.. fantastic
The town of Bird is coming across as crazy racist (southern baptist comment)
Haha... they said Algiers... I assumed Algeria - it was Louisiana
Skinny Shaq was legit
I like how he plays someone stupid
I’ve heard the stories of the fake intros .. wonder if they came from the movie or the other way around
You get the impression the coach is the character that pays to go to a dominatrix except he is too traditional
The booster guy makes some sense but then goes too far - the bit about how much coaches make versus players is true .. it’s too bad he then says how much he owes the players illegally
I like how the guy straight up asks for 30k..
Penny and Shaq are fun to watch
Why wouldn’t he just go to the NCAA and report the kid for asking
I think just watching Shaq practice is better than the movie
Nolte is legit tortured... hoe jaded have I become?
Bobby Knight ... again... wondering his purpose for being in it.. because he saw this and didn’t like it - didn’t want to be associated with it
Wonder if they played some pick up while filming?
The rules don’t make much sense - but I believe in them.
Shaq is pretty much neon
His little rant is self righteous but it’s not wrong
When he yells he kinda sounds like Rowdy Roddy Piper
Is this meant to be shot for shot? The original starts with Jordan and his dad... a legit part of his life ... LeBron goes with his mom... and it’s not super authentic
Cue 90s nostalgia... ghetto superstar ... game boy color(for the looney tunes reference)
He has already humble bragged and been told he could be the greatest
Mom reference in the highlight package
Are they going to have to reference when he wanted to leave his city??? They did!! Take his talents to south beach... wow... second worst call as it relates to the decision
My city?? When it suits him ... and then it puts him next to Kobe
The high five stuff is already a bit much
The shut up and dribble reference I liked
You know I got full court vision
The “ball” and the ball shoots out
It’s super clear that LeBron is supposed to be overbearing ... the life lessons are making themselves
The algorithm just discovers LeBron? Stupid computers
Why would Batman be up against lebron?
WB gets to sell its library
20 min in and WB has tried to sell about 39 of its properties
If it’s possible - this plot makes less sense than the aliens trying to play Jordan
Bugs voice is clearly off
The manipulating the son is an ok twist
I feel like Cheadle will be both my favorite and least favorite part of the movie
Mad max is a cool twist
Same with Casablanca - and Rick and Morty
It’s literally all of the movies that are also coming up (sequel wise )
Pretty crazy in terms of plot ideas ... who thought of this and how high were they?
Why would Tweety start?
The nose on white mamba is a bit crazy
Will Bill Murray come back?
The Michael B Jordan bit is a good gag - you came back from 3-1, you can do this
Lebron is a dick. What a horrible twist ... or non-twist
So .. if the kids are supposed to “do them” and that works ... how come his son is a horrible person... so that’s doing him? Doesn’t that just prove why kids shouldn’t just do them? Or what they want? Weird message
Tunes rapping just can’t lead to anything good
Don’t they have a guy who can freeze time .. why don’t they just do that?
Cheadle as Bobby Knight was good
Lola bunny in the “real” animation is just freaky
So are they just calling him King now? It’s like a small child who makes up his own nicknames
The Lebron crying was rough
Why did it take siblings for people to think about bugs?
Other Sources:
Rewatchables: He Got Game, Hoosiers, The Program, Love and Basketball, Varsity Blues, White Men Can’t Jump, Blue Chips
The Last Dance (not a full re-watch)
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